To Everything There is a Season

"There is time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance, 

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up, 

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate, 

a time to war and a time for peace."

It seems the older I get, the faster time flies.  I don't like it...I actually despise it!  My babies are growing up way too fast, I'm growing older with each passing year, and there never seems to be enough time to keep everything that is important to me, a priority.  

Very recently, I was in a place where I felt really indifferent. It seemed no matter how hard I tried to do the right thing, it was never enough.   I've always known how blessed I was to have my children and family who loved and cared for me.  But, there was just something "off".  At that very precise moment that I needed some good news, a reprieve from life, or a breath of fresh air...I found and connected with my older brother.  I won't get into any details...it's still all so new.  I feel like I want to hold this close and protect this special time.  Just when I thought, I may begin to unravel and break down, God sent us Shawn.  Words can not even begin to describe how much happiness this has brought to myself, my brother Andy and the rest of our family.  It's all been so surreal and amazing! 

There is a time and a season for everything!  I just sit back, with tears streaming down my face, at how God's timing in all of this, for all of us involved, is nothing short of a miracle.

I may never understand the "whys" of this life and I am sure I'll not like some of them.  I may feel as though God has forsaken me at times, but His timing is always right on!  In my weakness, He is my strength. 

As our family starts this incredible journey, I am at peace in knowing that "....there is a time to weep and a time to laugh; there is a time to mourn and a time to dance; there is a time to search and a time to give up; a time to be silent and a time to speak..." 

Trusting When We Don't Understand

"This trial does not feel good; I don't like it, but I believe that all things are working together for good" are words that were spoken often by my father in law.  Wayne truly believed these words with every fiber of his being.  Any chance he would get, he would instill this and other principles into his family, his children and his friends.  

You hear people talk all the time about having faith.  But, do they really have it?  It's very easy to have it when life is good, the kids are getting along, the bills are getting paid, when our health is good, etc.  Going through tough times and trials will always test how much faith we truly have.

Wayne was so consistent with his faith.  It never wavered.  He acted the same no matter what was going on.  His face always wore a smile.  When he smiled at you, it was genuine and not surface. He could look at a person with all of their "baggage" and it didn't matter.  He could see beyond that, to their true potential. 

Yes, Wayne had given me countless advice and guidance, but what I've really learned from him, came from watching the way he lived his life.  He didn't just talk it....He walked it.  He believed it.  He got it.  Wayne had true faith.  

We may never understand God's timing, and I'm pretty sure we often will not like it.  My father in law was the greatest example of "Trusting When We Don't Understand".

Our family was shaken to the core on March 31, 2012.  However, even through our devastation we honestly believe that this was for a purpose...a GREAT PURPOSE.  I know for fact, Wayne wanted to live a life a purpose.... he did, until his last breath.

Wayne was a loving husband, father, world's greatest father in law, son, Poppy, brother, uncle, and friend  that has left a huge void in our lives.  We will miss him terribly. 

Until we meet again, Wayne, We'll miss you and We love you!  

Thankful

Today, I am reminded of all there is to be thankful for.  Sometimes, I get very distracted with things that are not so important.  I love a clean and tidy house...today, I looked on as dolls, crayons, books and electronics scattered across the living room floor.  The mess could wait.  The girls started talking about when "they were little"...they are so big now:)  One of the things they remembered watching was Psalty the singing songbook.  Anyone remember him?  He was a huge blue, walking, talking songbook.  His show would include music and would always have a story line that taught kids bible based lessons...think, "Christian Barney". Ha!  The girls would love to sing and dance and act as their favorite characters.  I could remember getting so tired of hearing those songs over and over...today, we "You Tubed" some of their favorites, and I listened with tears in my eyes as they sang along.

It is the little things in life that are often taken for granted.
My heart is heavy today for some of our extended family and another sweet family from our home church.  Each of these precious families lost a loved one...both unexpected.  It echoed to me how we are not promised tomorrow.  My thoughts and prayers are with all of them.
My house may be messy some days.  Other days, I may want to put earplugs in my ears to block out the girls' arguing, and their repetitive song selections.  During these days, may I stop, listen, and enjoy.   May I be so grateful that I have two healthy daughters and just take in the moment.  These times are like a vapor, as they come and go so quickly.

My goal today was to live life, laugh out loud, and love big...mission accomplished!


Hugs,
Kimberly xo